


Glad I Crashed the Wedding

by mariposaroja



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Human disaster Thomas Muller, Humor, M/M, Thomas is Thomas, slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 23:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariposaroja/pseuds/mariposaroja
Summary: Thomas decides that he can't just sit back and allow Manu to marry someone else, not without letting him know how he felt.





	Glad I Crashed the Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this during Euro 2016 but never posted it for some reason! Decided that now was a good time because we all need a bit of positivity right now! ♥

It’s far too late when Thomas decides he’s going to do something rather than sit around and mope.

He looks at the clock on the wall, cursing in every language he knows when he sees that everything is due to kick off in half an hour. He has half an hour- half an hour to get more than halfway across town and stop his best friend from making the biggest mistake of both their lives…

Only the most fleeting of thoughts is given to actually putting on a suit, a Thomas quickly decides that emergency situations like this do not require a dress code. Any further delay could be fatal to his efforts, and so he grabs his keys and his phone before running out the door without as much as a second thought.

*

“Thank you for coming… Thank you for coming.”

All Manu can think as he and Christoph do the rounds of the church, fulfilling their groomly and best-manly duties respectively, is that there is an awful lot of people in attendance, a surprisingly large portion of whom he is sure he’s never laid eyes on before in his life. As he shakes hands with what seems like the 90th person that morning, Manu smiles as he can when another person squeezes his arm and informs him that today is going to be the best day of his life. As if that thought hasn’t crossed his mind as least once already.

Truth be told, he just wants to get this show on the road. Especially seeing as those _people_ he allegedly call his friends are getting rowdier by the minute. One look is all it takes to communicate his feelings on the matter to Christoph, who dutifully heads in that general direction to see what he can do about it.

Manu suspects not a lot.

“Thank you for coming. Thank you, thank you… Thank you for coming.”

*

Munich traffic on a Saturday afternoon is fucking _insane_ , Thomas soon learns. He’d never really given it that much thought before but now that he is in the rush of his life, it’s driving his blood pressure through the roof. He’s certain that there will be bruises on his palms tomorrow, if that is even possible, from the amount of times he has struck the steering wheel out of sheer and utter frustration.

After he fails to make it through the lights for a _fourth_ time, Thomas decides that enough is enough and pulls into the first vacant- if potentially illegal- parking space that he could find, sheepishly apologising to the driver behind him as he completely cuts him off. If he gets a ticket or clamped, then so be it.

*

“She’s here,” Christoph grins as he places a hand on the groom’s shoulder, leaning closer to whisper in his ear.

Heart beginning to thump that bit faster, Manu nods, cracking the best smile he can manage given the magnitude of the situation. He excuses himself from the distant cousin of his he had been caught talking to, allowing his best man to adjust the flower that is pinned to his lapel before they make one last trip up the aisle.

*

By the time he makes it within half a kilometre of the church, Thomas is a thousand percent sure that his lungs are going to shrivel up and die. It’s at moments like this (not that anything remotely like this have ever happened before) that he really regrets not making use of that gym membership that his mother had gifted him for the past two Christmases.

Still, he runs, cursing with what little breath he has left when the pedestrian crossing light turns red once again. Fuck it, he _just_ missed it. There was still time enough to make it across if he really hurried, right?

 _Wrong_.

The car slams on the break violently, thankfully, but cannot avoid the collision and Thomas finds himself knocked off his feet and onto the hard tarmac. He clutches his leg in agony as the car door opens and the driver gets out, looking torn between being furious and horrified that he’d just hit someone. Despite himself, Thomas tries to get up but quickly finds himself stopped by a concerned bystander who holds him firmly in place and tells him that she’s phoning an ambulance.

The fuck she is.

“I don’t need an ambulance! I need to get to the church!”

“Buddy, I don’t it’s bad enough for you to need a priest…”

 _What??_ “I don’t think I’m _dying._ But I will die if I don’t get to that church in time for my- my best friend’s wedding!”

The driver of the car is now keeping him where he is too. “You can’t walk on that led, you’ll do even more damage to yourself.”

Head dropping in defeat, he finds himself on the verge of tears when something suddenly occurs to him. Arching an eyebrow, he looks the driver dead in the eye. “I won’t sue you if you get me to that church in the next…” Thomas looks at his watch, which miraculously survived the impact, “five minutes.”

“… Which direction?”

*

“Should anyone here present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“I object!” Mats shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify the sound even more. There are some giggles around him but for the most part, as would be anticipated by anyone with the _slightest_ bit of sense, he finds himself on the receiving end of a number of firm nudges and even more reproachful glances, not least from the bride and groom themselves, who look positively murderous.

Looking to Benni who is sat beside him, who now has his head in his hands, Mats frowns. “What? That was funny.”

*

“You’re an awful look heavier than you look…” the driver, who’s name he learned was Jurgen, manages to choke out as they carefully negotiate the steps, trying to ensure that the three of them don’t come tumbling back down again.

Thomas grimaces. “Get me in that door or else that comment is going to be included in my victim impact statement.”

*

“I OBJECT!”

Practically the entirety of the congregation jumps as the back door of the church swings open dramatically, revealing one Thomas Müller being carried by two complete strangers, both with a thigh each in their hand and an arm around his middle.

The look he receives from his bride would be enough to kill Manu ten times over. He wonders whether they’ll be able to edit this bit out of the video. “Oh for fuck sake…”

Beginning to regret ever agreeing to take this job, Christoph decides to deal with the situation before it turns sour very quickly. “Funny, Thomas, but Mats already beat you to it.”

“What?” Completely bewildered for a moment, he looks over to where their friend is sitting with a massive grin on his face, giving him two thumbs up. _Of fucking course._ “No! This is real objection! You think I would run half way across town and get hit by a fucking car-“ the priest gives him a very reproachful look- “sorry, Father. Where was I? Oh yeah- get hit by a car for a _fake_ objection?”

Both the wedding party and the priest look completely baffled by this turn of events. “You genuinely object?” the latter enquires, to which Thomas responds with an overly dramatic eyeroll.

“Yes, I object! This is not a drill!”

“Thomas,” Manu hisses, “what the fu- _what_ are you doing?”

“Bring me to the altar,” he quietly urges his footmen, who complain for a moment about their arms hurting (boohoo) before they give in and begin making their way up the aisle. Waving awkwardly to the staring crowd, he sees that their reactions range from extreme distaste to mild amusement. When they finally reach their destination, his two helpers put him down a couple of feet away from his best friend, still supporting him as he stands. “Uh, hi… I know I said I couldn’t come but I couldn’t sit at home and do nothing- metaphorically watch you marry someone else. I love you, Manu. More than I’ve ever loved anyone before02

The priest looks like he’s about to have a heart attack, gasps ringing out around the cathedral. “Dear Lord!”

Thomas shoots the old man a brief apologetic look. “ _Anyway_ , I know I annoy you half to death sometimes, but I also know that I can make you smile like no one else can. I might push all your buttons at once, but you love it. And I couldn’t spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been. I’m playing all my cards, Manu, and I’m hoping that I can call your bluff because I really don’t want to walk- or be carried- out of this church without you by my side. I have to try, even if it could potentially ruin us because we were ruined anyway, the day I fell in love with you and watched you love someone else instead.”

Manu just gapes at him, jaw practically on the floor as his wife-to-be watches him in horror, clearly expecting him to send his friend packing. When he doesn’t she decides to take matters into her own hands. “That’s very nice but we’re kinda in the middle of getting married here, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Ignoring her, Thomas looks to Manu, allowing himself that little bit of hope that maybe this will end favourably for him. When he sees nothing to suggest that, Thomas’ head drops, accepting his fate, and quickly whispers to his helpers to help him in getting back down the aisle.

Feeling gutted for the injured man, they quickly oblige. But they have only begun their trip past all the disapproving but mostly pitiful glances when something causes them to stop dead in their tracks.

“Wait! Thomas…”


End file.
